Good Day, Good Night =)

I've had a really good, super-productive day. I went to my classes, straightened out my internship registration, cleaned, cooked a delicious dinner (chicken cacciatore-- yum!), spent time with my husband, and now I'm taking a little time for myself. It's just after 9pm. This happens so infrequently. I don't even know what to do haha.

I bought some candles today-- 4 medium Wood Wick trilogy candles for $10! That was exciting! I love the Old Virginia Candle Company outlet store. The ones I bought are:

Citrus Burst-- lemon chiffon, orange grove, and valencia orange

Apple Festival-- applewood, anjou apple, and caramel apple (I'm excited to get to the last part!)

and I bought a "man candle" for Aaron. He loves their Fireside Glow scent, so I bought the Warm Woods-- Fireside, Redwood, Sandalwood Clove candle for him.

I've been burning them in different rooms this evening =) I love candles! I used to not buy many because they're generally so expensive, but I'm really thankful for the OVCC outlet =) I think candles & nail polish are the two things I have the most of.

Aaron and I went out tonight. We went to Bed, Bath, and Beyond, Target, and Barnes & Noble. We walked around in the rain... It was actually really enjoyable. We had a nice, long talk over cheesecake and cappuccino. We have some pretty big plans that we'd like to put in the works as soon as Aaron finds a new job.

I've been really thankful for my pets the last few days. I caught part of an episode of "Animal Cops: Detroit" today. It was so sad. I had to hug Maddie. Why do some people even have pets?

I've been optimistic recently. Back in March when I had surgery on my ovaries, my doctor said that she burned away all of the endometriosis. She said we should have no problems getting pregnant after that and that I shouldn't have pain anymore. Well, about a month after my surgery, the pain came back. Then my periods got all screwed up. I had to use Provera and then go back on the pill for 3 months over the summer. I figured that would help suppress the endometriosis adhesions/lesions. When I quit using the pill in September, I started a soy-free diet. Well... for the most part. I cheated now and then (still do every once in a while-- chocolate is my evil indulgence). But it is just plain cruel that chocolate manufacturers pump soy lechtin in all of their products and then people go into hormone overload (although most people aren't affected by it like I am). It was hard to start this lifestyle at first, but I think I'm doing pretty well. There is room for improvement, but I'm generally pretty stringent about it. And at least I know that while I still get a little soy once in a while, it's a whole lot less than what I consumed before! A few weeks ago, I also started using Omega-3 fish oil supplements. And, this month, I haven't had ANY endometriosis pains! *KNOCK ON WOOD* I had cramps for like 5 minutes a few evenings ago, but I was able to talk through it and stand up. I really hope that this new lifestyle is helping! Endometriosis absolutely sucks. Since I've been more open about it, a few people have asked me what it's like. If you don't mind a TMI description, keep reading.

Endometriosis is painful. If I were to describe the pain, I would describe it as someone twisting a knife around in my abdomen accompanied by instant nausea and lower back pain. Fortunately, it comes in short waves only about once a month (around the time I should ovulate). It may last 1 minute, it may last 5 minutes. However, there have been times when I literally just wished God would let me die because I was in so much pain. I know that may sound dramatic, but try to imagine being in a situation where you're feeling fine, doing your thing, and then all of a sudden someone jams a screwdriver into one of your ovaries. The pain is moderate for a few seconds, and then moves to your back where it becomes severe. You're doubled over in absolute agony. (I had appendicitis when I was 17-- that was a cake walk compared to this.) You instantly break out in a cold sweat. All the blood drains from your head & you feel faint. Sometimes you feel like you're going to throw up. You're in so much pain you shake and shiver. The worst part is knowing what it's like ahead of time. You feel it coming on and bracing for impact is the worst part. You know there is no cure. See why it sucks so much? Mine is "only" stage 2 out of 4. Some women with stage 4 don't even know they have the disease, don't have pain, don't have problems getting pregnant, etc. That's why I'm so happy that this lifestyle is apparently working! =)

I was dwelling on Proverbs 31:25 a while ago. The NASB says, "Strength and dignity are her clothing, and she smiles at the future." I feel like God has strengthened me so much through all of this! And really, who knows what their future holds? No one. So how can I smile at the future? I'm learning that this means that my heart should be so focused on God that I find joy in following Him. I'm excited to see where He leads Aaron and me! God never ceases to surprise me. But I have to be willing to praise Him in the hard times He drags me through rather than always wanting easy times. I'm reminded of James 4:13-17.