My grandpa has all of the pictures from my wedding saved on his computer. Until yesterday, I hadn't seen most of them in about three years. I had even forgotten about some of them. On our wedding day, I was so tired that all I could think all day was, "I want a nap." The night before, our rehearsal dinner ran until about 10pm. I got back to the apartment and then couldn't fall asleep. I woke up at about 6:30am to take a shower and start getting ready. The morning of my wedding, I had to get my hair done, pick up the flowers (our florist didn't deliver...), stop by a furniture store, and fill my car with gas. People kept calling me and asking me for directions to the church. I took a shower at 6:30am. I got my hair done around 10:ooam (I think). I got ready at the church and had some pictures taken. And by the time we were done with our wedding and pictures, I was so tired I didn't even want to go to the reception. I was disappointed in that day because I'd always heard people say, "Your wedding day will be the best day of your life. You'll never forget it." I thought, "If this is going to be the best day of my life, I guess it's all downhill from here."

It wasn't until yesterday when I saw those pictures that I remembered how beautiful our wedding actually was. No, it wasn't at the Grand Dunes country club in Myrtle Beach. No, it wasn't at the new Pate Chapel at the new TRBC (where we had originally reserved). But it was beautiful and nice and simple and tasteful and it was not a crazy display of wealth and extravagance. It wasn't fake. It was very "us". I wanted everything to be very traditional so that our parents and grandparents would also remember their wedding days. I wanted everything to be kind of timeless and not trendy. My bustled dress did have a trendy flare to it, but I loved it.

There have been very many days in our marriage that I remember much better than our wedding day. It hasn't been downhill as I had feared. After looking at those pictures, I remember that even though I married "young", even though I'm still in college, even though I don't have kids yet, I'm still MARRIED. I forget that sometimes. Sometimes I just feel like I'm playing house or not grown up because I'm still in school. I've always felt like I need the premission or approval of older family members before making big decisions like buying a house, having children, adopting, moving, etc. But I'm realizing that they're our decisions. No one has to live with those decisions except us. No one gets to make them except us.